by Francois Martin Hunter
Anxiety gets a bad rep. It’s uncomfortable, confusing, sometimes overwhelming — and it can feel like your mind is turning against you. But what if I told you anxiety is actually trying to help?
In my work as a counsellor, I often hear people say:
🗣️ “I hate my anxiety.”
🗣️ “Why does this keep happening?”
🗣️ “I just want it to go away.”
And I get it. When your heart’s racing, your chest feels tight, and your thoughts are spiralling — it’s hard to believe anxiety has your back.
But here’s the truth: anxiety is a survival response. It’s your nervous system’s way of saying, “Hey! Something might not be safe here.”
It’s not broken. And neither are you.
🧠 A Little Science: What’s Actually Happening?
Anxiety lives in the part of your brain called the amygdala — the emotional alarm system. When it perceives a threat (real or imagined), it sets off a cascade:
⚡️ Heart rate rises
⚡️ Muscles tense
⚡️ Breath quickens
⚡️ Thoughts narrow in on danger
This is the fight, flight, or freeze response — designed to protect us. Great if there’s a lion in the room. Less helpful when the “lion” is an email or a social situation.
🧭 So, What Can You Do About It?
You can’t stop your brain from protecting you — but you can learn to work with it, not against it.
Here are a few helpful tools:
1. Name It to Tame It
Say to yourself, “I’m feeling anxious right now.” Naming your emotion activates the thinking part of your brain and calms the nervous system.
2. Ground Yourself
Focus on your senses.
👀 What do you see?
👂 What can you hear?
✋ What can you feel?
This pulls you back into the present moment.
3. Breathe, But Gently
Deep breathing is great — but slow and steady is key. Try breathing in for 4, holding for 4, out for 6. Let your body feel safe.
4. Challenge the Catastrophe
Ask yourself:
📍 What am I afraid will happen?
📍 What’s more likely to happen?
📍 If the worst happens, how will I cope?
This builds resilience and perspective.
🌈 A Note to LGBTQ+ Folks
If you're LGBTQ+, anxiety might also come from a very real place: living in a world that hasn’t always felt safe or accepting. This isn’t in your head — it’s in your experience.
Finding affirming spaces (like therapy) can help you unlearn fear and begin to trust yourself again. You deserve to feel safe in your skin and in the world.
🧡 You’re Not Alone
Anxiety is part of being human. It’s not a weakness — it’s a signal. And when you learn to listen, understand, and respond with kindness, you begin to reclaim your power.
If anxiety is a part of your story right now, know that you're not broken. You're just being asked to care for yourself a little more gently
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