Stress: Friend or Foe? Reframing Our Relationship with Pressure

Published on 1 August 2025 at 08:23

by Francois Martin Hunter

Most of us have been taught to see stress as a villain—something to eliminate, conquer, or avoid at all costs. “I’m so stressed” often signals that we’re overwhelmed, burnt out, or close to breaking.

But what if stress isn’t just the enemy we’ve made it out to be?
What if, sometimes, stress is trying to help us?


What Is Stress, Really?

At its core, stress is a natural response—our body’s way of reacting to demands, threats, or challenges. It mobilises energy, sharpens our senses, and prepares us to act.

Think of the racing heart before a presentation, or the burst of focus when you're on a deadline.

But not all stress is the same.

  • Acute stress is short-term and can be helpful.

  • Chronic stress is long-term, overwhelming, and harmful to our mental and physical health.


Stress as a Messenger

What if we treated stress not as something “bad,” but as a messenger?

Stress might be pointing to:

  • A value we’re trying to honour (like doing well at work)

  • A boundary that’s being crossed

  • An unmet need, like rest or connection

  • A misalignment between who we are and how we’re living

Seen this way, stress becomes information—a signal that something deserves attention.


The Double-Edged Sword: Helpful or Harmful?

There’s even such a thing as “good stress”: eustress.
This kind of pressure can:
✅ Motivate us
✅ Help us grow
✅ Build resilience

But when it turns into distress—when demands constantly outweigh our capacity—stress can damage our well-being and relationships.

The key difference isn’t just the amount of stress we feel, but how we relate to it.


Reframing Stress: A New Perspective

Changing our relationship with stress doesn’t mean ignoring it. It means listening and responding differently.

Try shifting your inner dialogue from:

  • “I can’t cope”

  • To: “My body is responding to something important.”

Ask yourself:
“What is this stress trying to tell me?”
“What do I need right now?”

You might also try:

  • Body check-ins

  • Naming your emotions

  • Setting boundaries

  • Prioritising rest, connection, and joy


How Therapy Can Help

In therapy, we often explore stress not just as a problem, but as a gateway to understanding your needs, values, and patterns.

Together, we can:
Understand your unique stress response
Build coping strategies
Reframe your inner narrative
Create space for compassion and choice


Final Reflection

Stress doesn’t always feel helpful. But it’s not always harmful, either.

It can be:

  • A signpost

  • A wake-up call

  • A mirror

What is your stress trying to tell you?
You're not failing because you're stressed. You're human.

And you don’t have to navigate it alone.

Feeling overwhelmed by stress? Therapy can help you make sense of it—gently, together.
[Contact me here] or [Book a free initial consultation]